If you think silence is weak, then embrace it and feel how powerfull it is to be the master in silence. Most people think that every phrase automatically calls for another in response but silence is also a communication opportunity to take advantage of the situation.

Let’s see how to use it !

During your meetings

You’ll get to see the non-verbal attitudes that make up over 80% of human communications. Use it to learn how non-verbal attitudes makes changes, react, over-react, of influe the attitude of people surrounding. In specific situations, it will then be easier to see the liars, the stressed people, the shadows or the real deciders, and much more. After a few minutes of attention, you will be fully aware of the interactions with the other stakeholders and it will be easier to address yourself to the right person with the best possible attitude.

Also, this allows you to have a deep understanding of what you can actively listen to. This permitting to prepare your questions/anwsers deeply. It’s time to turn 7 times your tongue before to open your mouth and speaks.

Of course, it allows to generates ideas and think out of the box while everyone is talking. You have time while listening to let your mind slowly evades and be creative.

If people discussed all around, stop speaking and look at them showing them that you are awaiting for their silence before to continue your speech. You won’t believe how the meeting will run more comfortable until the end. Don’t hesitate to repeat it later if required.

Into negociations

Negotiating is not that simple ! One of the key for sucessfull deals lies in between the words. Remaining silencefull gives your the power to let the other under heavy pressure. Stay firm and quiet… then your counterpart will think he has already lost something started being confused, stressed, impatient. It’s likely he will let something go at your advantage without saying anything more, simply because of the generated stress. In fact stay in silence should inform your counter part that you are already at the bottom line of where you can go. Let him think that the negociation will be harder starting from now even if you still have plenty in your pockets.

It is also recommended to use the silence when the other part going over the limits or threaten you badly, to let him understand that you are not at the disposal to be footprinted ! If you manage to use the silences at the good time with the good timing and duration, it becomes your most ally into any negociations.

Whatever, always get on mind that if your opposite has the feeling that he has won something, the negociation is already a success. Silences are very helpfull to improve that feeling.

Always

Gives the opportunity to listen actively and moreover to prepare a well designed answear. Don’t hesitate to let a « blank » after the other speaker to emphasis your message and it’s power. It will also give the feeling that you have listened carefully and thought things through. I will always remember one of my old manager that was used to speak slowly and with a lot of blanks but everything’s out of his mouth was powerfull and very well said. It was quite impressive.

Start your meeting with 10 second of silence

Take a seat, say hi ! Then ask everybody to be quiet for 10 seconds. 1, 2, 3, …, 10, then ask everyone to take a deep breat. Now just continue simply with « Ok, we can start the meeting ». Your team will be focused only on the meeting. It’s kind of a meditation power that let start the meeting fully involved. Just try and see once, you will never be able to start a meeting again without this method 😉

« True silence is the rest of the mind; it is to the spirit what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment. »

William Penn

The customer, shareholder or stakeholder empty chair

The silence of those who are there but are not, gives you the opportunity to think about them every moment of the meeting. It’s a role-play that allows you to interact on specific subjects with other entities even if they don’t physically attends the meeting. In other words, this allow you to never forget to think about them in your decisions.

As an example, if your meeting consist of taking a decision regarding a customer, give him a « ghost » seat and start the meeting. Everytime you take a decision, ask the ghost customer how he will react faced to your decision and try to figure out how he will take it positively or not. You will avoid many issues doing such a role-play in many situations.

There is plenty of situation you can use the empty chair such as your employees, your boss, a supplier, …

When you presenting

Silences will let people think about your speech, you can sometimes invite them to think a few seconds about what they discovered or their feelings. Of course, in the same context as in meetings, it allows to recover the attention of your attendies. Just stop yourself speaking and wait… there is somekind of magic into silence.

Now that you have understand the importance of silence, use it briefly to make your speech impactant or longer to get back attention of the attendies.

« The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause. »

Mark Twain

While you are in recruitment interview process

This gives you the power to reveal the candidate’s truth. I remember one interview where i remained silent for a few minutes after i strated to have doubts, the candidate started to circle around his ideas finally revealing his lies and the overspeeking attitude he has. This was dramatically effective into showing me his bad personality.

Sometimes things regulates themselves throughout your silence

As a manager, not everything can be done by your own and sometimes you certainly have to do nothing to let it regulates by itself. Before to take any action, start to think and ask yourself if you really have to do something fastly. You will see that with time, some topics do not required to be done by you. Silence is here a way to let things goes by themselves then you will see some miracles appears ! Of course it’s not here a question of being an ostrich and put his head underground, no ! It’s just letting time to your team or the concerned to rethink, do, and treat the issue before you need to interfere in.

When absolutely avoid to use the Silences ?!

Eventhough it’s a remarkable tool, silence is such powerfull that it could lead to major destruction into relationships as well as for some minds. So take care not to over use it ! Stay open to the others when you are using it and don’t go too far. The much is the ennemy of the good, always remember it and be carefull with such a great power in your hands.

Over the timing, duration also imports. The advantage to stay quiet is that you are in the lead to analyze the counterpart reactions. You can then decide when to break or not the silence at the best moment for a maximal impact. Don’t let it too long as well at the risk to loose the relation. Everything is question of pepper and salt in the salad ! Too few and you don’t taste it, too much and you destroy the plate… let’s try it, let’s enjoy it and become the Silence Chief !

? Do you now trust in the power of silence ?

During meetings, negociations, one to one, any presentations and multiple other purposes.

Silence is a powerful tool when used strategically. Embracing its impact can greatly improve communication and negotiation skills..

Well used, i would admit that it could be one of the more usefull while it could change so fast and so drastically a lot of interactions. Train yourself to use it and then send me your feedback !

Thanks for your time and hope to see you soon for another article !